The Lord's Prescriptive Lenses

Dr Tim Lomas, a lecturer in positive psychology at the University of East London, recognises the variety of verbal expressions of love around the world and has noted that the nuanced meanings simply do not translate. In his Positive Lexicography Project, he identifies positive words in a variety of languages and translates them as best he can into English. There are so very many words, but I will share two:

Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The feeling upon meeting someone that falling in love will be inevitable.

Putuwa (Gadigal – first nations language): To warm your hands by a fire whilst squeezing someone else’s.

What beautiful sentiment contained in simple phrases! In the English language, we do not have the efficiency that perhaps some other languages enjoy when it comes to expressing love.

Recently, Susy and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary and, as with every year, while I thought about what to write in her card, I found my vocabulary woefully inadequate. Each year I love her more, I love her differently than I did the year before, but I am no better equipped to express it. However, I am fortunate in that words are the least useful way of expressing love.

Of course, this also stands as a valid excuse for the inadequacy of my words today. As I speak of the love I have for my Father in Heaven, my Saviour, and my neighbours, know that there is a chasm between what I feel and what I say. If the saying is true that the camera adds 5 kilos to our appearance, the pulpit surely lightens our love through a poor translation of what is in our heart. I pray for the fulfilment of the promise of the Saviour “that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth”, that you (collectively) and I will “understand one another and rejoice together.”

The expression of love is at the centre of my comments today. In General Conference, less than a month ago, the worldwide leaders of the church were unified in highlighting the connection between our worship of the Saviour, Jesus Christ, and the requirement to love each other.

When questioned about the most important of all the commandments, the master teacher responded with two which are trained on expressions of love. He said,

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

The detail and order of these commandments is deliberate and significant. Consider the “first and great commandment” to love our Father in Heaven with everything we have; with every thought, with every action, to glorify Him, to pray sincerely, to listen intently to the Spirit of truth as His messenger. The resulting effect, without variance, will be a greater love and appreciation for His majesty, His power, His compassion, and His exactness. In addition, we will find a renewed understanding of the divinity of Jesus the Christ in his premortal, mortal, and eternal roles as creator, exemplar, redeemer, and perfect judge.

As a final consequence of this unswerving servitude to the Eternal Father, we will discover our own divine heritage and potential. This world, perhaps more than ever, is desperate for us to feel inadequate and undeserving. Much of today’s advertising capitalises on self-loathing, especially that of our physical reflection. Much of social media’s success is founded on our natural tendency to look at others rather than face ourselves in true reflection and contemplation. Chances are you’ve heard Taylor Swift’s latest song, Anti-hero, where she sings, “I’ll look directly at the sun, but never in the mirror.” So prevalent is our tendency to misunderstand our own imperfection, that we would do almost anything but face it.

Here is where the order of these commandments, so great that the Saviour identifies them as the commandments on which all other laws hang, comes into focus. Note, Jesus understands that when we realise our divine potential and worth through a developed relationship with The Father, then our perception of ourselves improves. It is then that the second great commandment makes sense.

It is disappointing and somewhat dangerous that these two commandments have been reduced over time to the platitude known as The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Even from a young age, I could not quite make sense of this – What happens to the people who, at best, do not care for themselves, or at worst, dislike themselves? I have seen too many young people treat others horribly on the excuse that they expect that same treatment in return. Too many adults ignore others on the excuse that they themselves do not deserve attention. To pair the golden rule with the perspective of a “dog eat dog” world is certainly destructive. We are complex beings, holding others almost always to the standards we demand of ourselves, even if we treat ourselves poorly.

Without the first great commandment, pointing us towards an appreciation of our Father in Heaven, the great atoning sacrifice of His son, and our personal divine value in that plan, the commandment to love your neighbour as yourself is fraught. However, when we use the perfect prescription offered in through the lens of our Saviour’s eyes, we not only love ourselves more perfectly, but we recognise the eternal value of those around us.

The natural consequence of loving others more as a result of understanding the nature of God is further simplified when the Saviour taught his disciples, “By this shall all… know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

I would like us to consider three ways that a more perfect understanding of ourselves might lead to the action of expressions of love for others:

Respond to Imperfection with an Eternal Perspective

It is not unusual for me to reflect on my experiences and list all of the imperfect actions I have taken. One of my less desirable practices is to counter any compliment I receive which an announcement of some secret error. I will serve a meal, with a sprinkling of self-loathing over errors in the kitchen which have not affected the quality of the taste; I will help somebody build a new fence and ensure I identify all of the errors in construction which have long since been hidden by steel panels.

Reflection on our errors is important. It is central in moving towards repentance which ultimately leads towards engagement with the eternal love of a Father in Heaven through His son, Jesus Christ. If we can filter our admission of error into two categories – those for which we need spiritual intervention, as apposed to those which are incidental and mostly inconsequential – then we are better equipped to do the same for those around us. Once we identify the spiritual errors, involve the Saviour, seek forgiveness (involving others if they are affected by our actions), and become better.

To ruminate on the errors of others is the first downwards step to intolerance, which leads to resentment, and eventually to the low place of hatred – that hatred which destroys joy and halts eternal progression. To love others more perfectly is to apply the same steps in our lives as we would for our own errors:

• Determine whether the error is spiritual or momentary.
• If spiritual, seek the Saviour’s involvement and find a way to forgive them.
• Become better.

A long time ago, my wife and I discovered that someone was spreading a terrible and untrue rumour about us. For years we felt resentment for the hurt they were causing. I recognise now the damage it was causing in my relationships. In the festering wound this offence had caused, the poison of mistrust had spread. I began to wonder whether there were more rumours from others I was yet to hear. I began to guard myself in social interactions for fear of giving somebody ammunition to use against me at a later stage. It was those who spread the rumours that I resented, but it was my own soul which was being hurt.

Then I heard the instructions from Jesus with more clarity than I had in the past. The Lord asks us to follow Him in almost everything, so when He identifies a point of difference in what is expected of us, we ought to listen. He says, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all…” I recognised that the imperfect action of spreading false witness through rumour was a spiritual error, sought the Saviour’s involvement to be able to forgive, communicated my forgiveness to them, and not only did I become better for it but our relationship also began to heal.

Serve Others and Serve Yourself

Self-compassion has become cliché, with a saturated commercial market of products which claim to provide moments where we are kinder to ourselves. Whether it is the obvious appeal of food (usually chocolate) as a reward for enduring hard moments, or the more subtle claim that extended time in the digital world of social media or gaming is the escapism from reality we need and deserve. Neither really expresses self-love in the way the Saviour designed and neither has the lasting impact we need to feel and express greater love (Of course, both chocolate and social media can be wonderful, but we ought not see it as a remedy for our deeper and more spiritual needs). Often, the remedies offered in today’s world help us to become distracted from what we need or to stop feeling, but rarely do they heal.

To express true and impactful love for ourselves, we need to provide ourselves with what is needed. The steps here are not unfamiliar:

• Spend time considering how we feel and what we might need.
• Involve The Lord, through prayer and revelation, to identify how we might meet those needs.
• Make a plan to meet our needs.
• Act on the plan.

Consider the direct application to our relationship with others:

• Spend time with them, considering how they feel and what they might need.
• Involve The Lord, through prayer and revelation, to identify how we might help them meet those needs.
• Make a plan to help them meet their needs.
• Act on the plan.

When we are focussed on the more eternal needs of our community, we will find greater compassion, more consistent social reward, and a closer society to the perfection the Lord seeks. We will create a group of “imperfect people looking for perfect moments”.

Do Not Sin, in Regard to Love

When I served as a full-time missionary, I felt as though everyday I was discovering new guidelines for living a Christlike life – a life which offers peace and joy both in this life and in the eternities. In my newfound understanding of the relationship between discovering commandments, following commandments, and experiencing joy, I wrote in my study journal in big letters, “The rules we most often break are those we don’t know.” I had hoped to continue to discover more of the Lord’s instruction to follow the pattern of blessing I had enjoyed thus far. Unfortunately, I left it open on my desk, and a visiting Elder, a good friend, added to it, “Ignorance is bliss. Enjoy it while it lasts!”

Well, I still do not agree with my friend and have since discovered more guidelines for living which continue to change my discipleship and wider life in wonderful ways.

One clarification about the law of love is found in the book of Proverbs, in the Old Testament. It reads, “Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbour, Go, and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.”

When I think of sin, I often think of acts against God’s will. This superficial understanding might well reduce the darkness in my life, but it is not likely to increase the light in greater measure. Avoiding sins of commission, that is committing sin, is important. However, this proverb’s focus on what we ought to do, instead of what not to do, gives great insight. When it comes to love, the great sin of commission might be hatred and acts of anger, and yet the absence of hatred and anger does not automatically equal love. The great sin of omission, the good that we do not do, would be withholding love.

Consider this in light of loving ourselves; The Lord wishes to express his love for us openly, through the quiet whisperings of the Spirit, through the natural world in its beauty, through the kind words and acts of others, through divinely appointed scripture – old and new. Yet, we can, at times, refuse to accept that love. We fill our lives with distractions from revelation, ignore the natural world or damage it through selfishness, counter kind words or deeds of others with feelings of unworthiness and social or physical withdrawal, or dismiss scripture in favour of more easily digestible content on social media.

An honest appraisal of ourselves will result in a divine discovery of our deficiency and put us in a more perfect position to provide what we need in the moment we need it. You, individually, personally, in a relationship with a loving God deserve all – all He has is your due. He offers it openly and willingly, asking only that you do the same for others.

When the Lord speaks of the act of the harvest, in the church, he refers not only to spreading His gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue and people, but also of the need to lift the poor in spirit, the broken-hearted, those with loss, grief, and all manner of mortal emotional wounds. He wishes us to life where one might not have the strength to rise to their divine role.

Elder Vern P Stanfill, in our most recent general conference explained,

“We must remember that whatever our best-but-imperfect offering is, the Savior can make it perfect. No matter how insignificant our efforts may seem, we must never underestimate the Savior’s power. A simple word of kindness, a brief but sincere ministering visit, or a Primary lesson lovingly taught can, with the Savior’s help, provide comfort, soften hearts, and change eternal lives. Our clumsy efforts can lead to miracles, and in the process, we can participate in a perfect harvest.”

When the Saviour distils doctrine, taking countless commandments and covenantal concern and reducing it to two commandments, we ought to take note. He has identified, central to The Father’s plan of happiness, that the two greatest commandments are to love the Father, by extension His Son, and to love each other. I testify that as we learn to love The Father more perfectly, we will understand the role of the Saviour in its entirety, which will allow us insight into our own worth – beyond anything we comprehend right now. That understanding gives rise to a new form of relationship with those around us where, with the Saviour’s perfect prescription, we will see others more clearly as deserving of our time, our talents, and in that our love.

May we find opportunities to feel this love, express this love, and accept this love.

In the sacred name of Jesus the Christ. Amen

From a Sacrament Meeting talk given in Adelaide, South Australia